There’s nothing like a good solid box. It’s a strange quirk of my personality that I like boxes. Every time I go to Bunnings or one of those massive temples to male self worth, I find myself looking at boxes; big ones, small ones and those special boxes that contain smaller boxes called draws. However, I never buy them.
I’ve realised that my strange obsession with boxes is related to a hope that I have about myself; the hope that one day I will be organised with my junk.
Currently we are about to move house - today actually. The last couple of weeks have been consumed with putting our stuff in boxes that we have scrounged from Pak n Save and other local box providers. You’d think with my box obsession that looking for boxes would have been enjoyable, but it hasn’t.
These boxes are forcing me to make decisions. I have to take a hard look at every object and ask the tough question, “Do I need this? Do I ever use it?” Don’t get me wrong, I’m no hoarder, but if I don’t throw it out my wife will. Yet I do have a small stash of stuff whose worth, or lack thereof, is even beyond her.
The other day I was going through a pile of stuff in the garage and I found valuable items of no use earthly use that I thought I’d thrown out two house-moves ago. I found myself conflicted. My mind said, “throw it away” while my hand dropped it in the moving box. I have to confess that most of my stuff is coming with me. Well, I think it is, because I have a suspicion there’s a secret audit going on without my knowledge.
Letting go of anything is hard. Saying goodbye to friends who move is difficult. Leaving close family for an extended period feels like tearing separation. Every letting go is a kind of small death; it’s a saying good-bye to something that has been familiar and part of who we are.
We all carry stuff with us on the excursion of life. Like any journey we carry baggage. But learning what to hang on to and what to let go of is something we all need to discover. What are you hanging on to that isn’t required and weighs you down?
When I die, the people who love me will look for one final box. It will be the last one I ever need. Who I am will be the only thing I take with me to eternity and I don’t want that journey to be a burden. Who we are echoes in eternity, not what we accumulate.
Jesus said, “If you’re weighed down, burdened or burnt out – come to me and I will give you a rest.” I can say, with my hand on my heart, following Jesus has been just that for me.
© Digby Wilkinson 2008