Recently my son got his learners drivers license. I don’t know whether to be pleased or not. Before he sat the test I struck a deal with him; he would pay the eighty dollars up front and if he passed I would reimburse him, if not, the cost was his. Seemed fair! Anyhow, as he was sitting the exam I found myself praying, “Lord, failure isn’t all that bad, and it’s cheaper!” He passed.
I now have the rather painful task of teaching him. I thought it was going to be something akin to torture, but it’s actually turned in to quite a funny and enjoyable thing to do. For a short period of time my six foot 15 year old son has transformed into a terrified child. I must confess that I like this.
There are a number of things that happen when you first move from the passenger seat to the drivers seat. Firstly you can’t do “nothing” on the journey anymore. Driving requires looking in all directions, steering, using a clutch, changing gears, indicating, braking and on some occasions doing all this simultaneously. Then there’s the stress of holding other people up when the light turns green and the car stalls three times.
I love watching him suffer – it’s so much fun. Why would you get frustrated teaching your kid to drive? It’s such magnificent payback.
The other big learning curve is the realization that you don’t know where you’re going. Passengers always know the way until they get behind the wheel for the first time. It’s like their internal map dissolves to a kind of unrecognizable slime.
Likewise, if I talk too much while he’s driving he says, “be quite, I’m concentrating”. That’s a first.
I think the kid has finally realized I have something useful to offer. That is, I know something he needs to know but doesn’t, and the learning doesn’t come easy.
The process has changed our relationship at a variety of levels. He is beginning to see that he needs mentors and coaches to get through a number of things in life. As it gets more complicated we need help and guidance from time to time, especially from those who know how.
On the other hand, it reminds me that I still need assistance from time to time. Yes, I’ve been around a while now, but if I am to keep growing and expanding my mind and life experience, I need to do new things and venture in to unfamiliar territory. This requires guides.
When it comes to our spiritual life, it’s much the same. For some people it’s so new and unfamiliar that it feels unnerving. For others it’s become something of a rut and we long for that unnerving experience again. In either case we need other people to help us along.
If you’re in either of these situations, you needn’t remain there. Unlike driving there’s no initial test. All you need to do is ask for assistance at the beginning of a new journey. You’ll find it in a church near you.
Digby Wilkinson © 2008