It’s very rare to find myself driving while it’s snowing, especially in October. Yet that’s what I was doing on Monday as we detoured via W(h)anganui to avoid the Desert road. I had already heard that a number of vehicles had been stranded on another road and as the downpour turned from sleet to heavy snow I envisioned myself stuck in the car with two complaining children. It wasn’t a comforting thought so I just kept driving. Eventually it stopped.
I did wonder what I would do if we became stranded. Fortunately it’s a well travelled road and fairly well populated so we wouldn’t be stuck for long. But what if we were? I saw long hours of “eye spy” with my daughter. Eventually the car would run out of gas so then we’d all be cold. The kids had already munched through our supplies so starvation would have set in quickly. Then they’d want to get out and play and I’d say no and then there would be a fight that I would lose and then they’d get wet too.
The more I thought about it, them more I was determined not to stop.
This kind of imagining is often called “catastrophic thinking”. It’s the rapid shift from rational to irrational thoughts driven by a catalyst and a propensity to exaggerate reality. It would be fair to say that not everyone suffers from this and neither do I generally. Yet on this on this occasion I succumbed.
Within the ivory towers of philosophy, discussions about the nature of reality and our perceptions of it are long and often boring, though the question itself isn’t. Reality is only ever in the eye of the beholder. Perceptions of reality are only referred to as “normal” when the majority agree on a common perception.
Catastrophic thought is the end result of not testing our thinking with others, or being unable to. More often than not I know when my thoughts are somewhat mad. However there are other times when I’m not so aware. In times of stress or worry I can drive myself into a sort of psychotic frenzy as I unpack what “might” happen. Despite the fact it hasn’t happened doesn’t actually matter; I live as if the idea has become real. My pulse escalates, fear grips me and I become paralysed.
Yet the response isn’t the same for everyone. Some people dissolve into denial simply ignoring whatever needs attention – they call it being laid back. However the end result is the same: inaction.
Obviously some fears are justified. Yet many aren’t. Asking someone out on a first date can be the most traumatising experience life offers. But why? What’s the worst that can happen? They might say no. The fear of being rejected is reasonable. To think that we are therefore unlovable is catastrophic and crippling and unreasonable.
I don’t think we were designed to think alone, but rather to think together. I told my kids about my fears of stopping in the snow. They laughed. All the cars around us had children too. They could play. From catastrophe to fun in 30 seconds.