The saying, ‘water always finds the easiest route’ well describes the way some teenagers operate. We’ve just completed the Abel Tasman walk with five teenagers and bunch of adults. Yet unlike wealthy, cosmetic clad tourists who had their equipment transported from camp site to campsite, we carried ours. Well, some of us did.
One of the teens is a strapping lad who stretches to well over six feet. He’s also quite fit - a point upon which he waxes eloquently. However, when it came to carrying anything he was more than happy to let kids half his size carry twice the load.
Now there are two responses to this: admiration or anger. Once his cunning ploy was discovered, some were in awe of the fact he’d gotten away with it so long, while others wanted to do unimaginable things to his person.
So I guess these responses tell us a couple of things: half of us spend our time trying to do as little as possible without getting caught, while the other half are driven by loyalty and fairness and will often go the extra mile to make up for the lazy slobs who take the easiest route. The question of course is, ‘who’s right? The answer depends on your perspective.
It’s quite easy to argue that in the end we had a great time. That being the case, we can simply laugh at the attitude of the slovenly adolescent. The problem is, some can’t. For the fair minded it seems utterly inconceivable that others have a great time at their expense. Yet despite all the complaining and moaning of the fair and loyal, they will still carry the extra load. The problem comes later. While the lightly loaded cunning teenager had a great time and a fabulous memory of the trip, the loyal companion often harbours a menacing grumpiness for years to come. Like Elephants, they don’t forget.
By nature I’m a bit of both. Perhaps we all are. However my default is fairness and loyalty and I’ve come to accept this. I do get annoyed with people who are lazy, but I guess that’s their decision. Mine is not to be. The result is that other people don’t bother me much these days. They are who they are and, in most cases, apart from verbal abuse, there’s not much I can do to change them. That task is theirs.
The Bible says we ought, ‘Bear with each other......forgiving along the way’. That’s only something I can do for others. It’s stunning how we can sabotage our own great life experiences by hanging on to the actions of a few irritating people. I get round this by remembering how irritating I can be and how forgiving others are.
As 2010 unfolds we might be carrying an anger into the new year that is not ours to carry. Our task in life is to know ourselves, attend to our own weaknesses and make the very best of who we are designed to be. Doing so makes enjoying others (despite their failings) a God given addition to our own developing lives.
Digby Wilkinson 2010